As I sit here on my inflatable bed, basking in the "freedom of summer" (having just finished two straight days of back-to-back professional development and looking forward to my 8 hour grad class this Saturday...), the awareness of what I've been through this year hangs around me in a surreal haze. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up to a 5:30am alarm and working 20 hour days in the blazing Phoenix sun, clueless as to what I was getting myself into here. Now I'm throwing around terms like "cross content collaboration, differentiation, scaffolding, IEPs, BIPs, SIOP, UbD, essential questions, CBMs, balanced literacy, summative and formative assessments, SST, RTI, and vertical planning" like a pro. Educational discourse is perhaps second only to medical discourse in quantity of acronyms and technical vernacular. Well, maybe that's a lie. But I certainly remember originally feeling like one of the interns on Grey's Anatomy (a new obsession) when they began at the hospital, nonsensical terms whizzing past my head as I nodded stupidly, hoping against hope my ignorance would not reveal itself before I could lock myself in my classroom and perform a quick google search that translated the educational jargon into something I could work with. Either that, or drop into the fetal position and rock for a while. One or the other.
While I certainly cannot boast more than a "nearing proficiency" on any of the New Mexico teaching standards (for a few, I'd be surprised if I made any progress at all), I am beginning to feel a warm fuzzy feeling deep down (probably hanging out with whatever mutant parasite is still kicking it in my intestines) that I'm starting to finally understand what my role as a teacher is. Not that I've come anywhere near performing that role the way it ought to be performed, but I have the knowledge of what I SHOULD be doing. And while it may not seem like it, that itself is a huge step forward. No more will I speed aimlessly through the school days like a half-blind, slightly maimed ostrich with a hand granade taped to it's butt. (I really can't justify that simile...it's been a long year.) But now, I have a clear sense of direction and purpose, and come equipped with a year's worth of trial and error experiences and strategies at my disposal.
It's hard to describe the feeling of the last day of school. Never mind the fact that you have been counting down the days since February and have had many a dream involving certain students being forced to experience every second of inner turmoil, loathing, and unadulterated anger they've put you through before being owned by a smoke monster. The feeling you get as you watch them walk out the door of your classroom at the final bell with hot cheetos dropping from their pockets and incomplete sentences committing heinous crimes against grammar graffitied all over the whiteboards wishing you a good summer, is one that seems to erase every negative thing that's happened all year. Suddenly those are no longer the obnoxious banes of my existence, but they're my babies...the ones I've devoted an entire year of my life to helping, and now they have just walked out of my life without a glance backward. Sure, I will see them now and then in the cesspools of awkward preteen love that are our hallways next year, but I will not have that influence over them any longer. I've done what I can in the time I was given, and that's it. Now I finally understand why some of my teachers cried at the end of the year. Not me though. I just plopped down in my chair and starred senselessly out over the tops of the now empty desks wondering what to do with myself. 270 days of non-stop work and stress and frustration and joy and anxious bustling around, and now...what?
You would think after a year of 16 hour work days and no social life outside of my job that I'd be ready for a vacation from anything teacher-related. And regarding the actual act of teaching, you'd be right. But I've found my niche, my passion, within this profession, and I can't wait to spend all summer using what I know to plan out a kick-butt long term plan and some stellar units, observing veteran teachers in my spare time to get new ideas, and pouring over the books on teaching that'd I've already ordered and shipped back home. For once, I will have a summer job I actually WANT to do, and for that I am so grateful.
Thank you again to all of you who have supported me (both materialistically and emotionally), prayed for me, visited me, or simply allowed me to whine and vent in your ear all year long. I seriously could not have done this without the strong network of support I have behind me at home. And finally this week I will be coming back to actually get to spend some quality time with you all, another huge benefit and blessing of this career. See you soon!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
you can't even imaginary...
Just thought I'd share some of the great essay responses I get to read. (I'll leave in the spelling/grammar errors which often add to the humor)
To begin...how they feel about the casino being built on their reservation:
"I think the goverment should stop giving the indean's money (which is how that stupid casino was bilt) I dont like it at all more and more drunk pople come out of there every night." --6th grade girl
"The games aren't fair. 1 in a million you could get a royal flush." -- 6th grade girl
"I think that casinos are not at all helping the aconime we are in." --6th grade girl
"the people in charge should get together to talk about the conflict in a calmly manner. Also why should they even be fighting it was their idea." --6th grade girl
"everyone here doesn't have to drive all night to get to the closes casino. My grandma was oh so very happy that she doesn't have to go towards Albuquerque." --6th grade girl
"I think that it is good to let Churchrock have a casino because now older people can have fun." --6th grade boy
"Think casino suck Because the children stay in the lobby thats crazy Because mother need to stay with there childen they can't stay with stranges Thank you for lisning." --6th grade boy
"They like money, and eat, and drink at the same time. I guest she or he just want die and live in heaven." --6th grade girl
"I don't like having it there because of all those people being drunk and blocking people's view sure it is good because of the money but it blocks my view and other people's view." --6th grade girl
"I do not care about that casino because its not for kids. Also there's nothing in there that we could do. Evan when my mom and dad took us to eat over their. I did not like the food." --6th grade girl
"I not like the casino because its small, it smells and they wont let kids in there. There were a skinkwalker in there so it means that it is bad for Gallup." --6th grade girl
"There should be a casino because our parents want to have time off to play. I also like it because there is food inside." --6th grade boy
Next, their take on figurative language:
"For example a simile would be like saying "as big as a cow butt" and a metaphor would be lik saying 'he was a cow butt tonight." For example in my head I think that I am correct on all the things I have writen down on this paper today." -- 6th grade girl
"I don't know about you, but similes and metaphors are very fun to use for me. We need to learn more about them, if possible. Please at least take it into consideration." -- 6th grade girl
"A Example of a similes 'He smell like pizza." Another Example of a metaphor 'he a pizza.'" -- 6th grade boy
Q: Compare and contrast similes and metaphors.
A: "Somebody stelles her bike and she is sad sitting on the porch and the police calles and says they find her bike." -- 6th grade girl
"an example of a metiphor is she is smalt as a bus full of nerds." --6th grade girl
"Metaphor has Figurtive language or simile but I am saying that they are the same and some are diffrent and the same way. I don't know simile becuse Everybody is talking when I didn't here the teacher is saying." --6th grade girl
"I found my anwser by seing what are the sames and differents, for exsample there like both different from each other in different ways." --6th grade boy
"for a simile your dume as a donkey." --6th grade boy
"The first one is going to be the metaphor because it is hard. 'I feel a fish on me.' Next is the simile. I'm in a pickle." --6th grade boy
Next, their thoughts on the near extinction of the bald eagle:
"This would be important because you need to find the key to your heart and stop hunting the bald eagles cause it will get you drunk then you will get crazy then you will shoot a bald eagle cause it will hurt and the eagles might be eggstink then the envirment will have nomore eagles to look up to...I think they should put the pople that shoot a eagle and put them in electric chair to get their punishment." --6th grade boy
"Without the bald eagles, we'd have an extinct bird as a national symbol, and we'd lose the beauty of the famous bird in our memory over time. We'd never ooh and ahh at the sight of an eagle nest on a cliff ever again. We wouldn't have that one extra animal to get rid of extra fish. We'd fall apart. They're beautiful and what keeps this country alive. We don't appreciate the eagles long enough. We think about killing them, putting them on a string, hanging them from the ceiling and showing them off. STOP NOW!!!! please help." -6th grade girl
"Normally I disagree with America but right now I don't I want bald eagles to live." -- 6th grade girl
"They ain't doing anything to disturb us so I think the people should leave them alone. Because birds like the eagles don't bother us because they eat different animals not us, uless their hungry." -- 6th grade boy
And my favorite of them all...
Q: How would you change the story if you were the writer?
A: "If I was the writer I would write about things you can't even imaginary." -- 6th grade girl
To begin...how they feel about the casino being built on their reservation:
"I think the goverment should stop giving the indean's money (which is how that stupid casino was bilt) I dont like it at all more and more drunk pople come out of there every night." --6th grade girl
"The games aren't fair. 1 in a million you could get a royal flush." -- 6th grade girl
"I think that casinos are not at all helping the aconime we are in." --6th grade girl
"the people in charge should get together to talk about the conflict in a calmly manner. Also why should they even be fighting it was their idea." --6th grade girl
"everyone here doesn't have to drive all night to get to the closes casino. My grandma was oh so very happy that she doesn't have to go towards Albuquerque." --6th grade girl
"I think that it is good to let Churchrock have a casino because now older people can have fun." --6th grade boy
"Think casino suck Because the children stay in the lobby thats crazy Because mother need to stay with there childen they can't stay with stranges Thank you for lisning." --6th grade boy
"They like money, and eat, and drink at the same time. I guest she or he just want die and live in heaven." --6th grade girl
"I don't like having it there because of all those people being drunk and blocking people's view sure it is good because of the money but it blocks my view and other people's view." --6th grade girl
"I do not care about that casino because its not for kids. Also there's nothing in there that we could do. Evan when my mom and dad took us to eat over their. I did not like the food." --6th grade girl
"I not like the casino because its small, it smells and they wont let kids in there. There were a skinkwalker in there so it means that it is bad for Gallup." --6th grade girl
"There should be a casino because our parents want to have time off to play. I also like it because there is food inside." --6th grade boy
Next, their take on figurative language:
"For example a simile would be like saying "as big as a cow butt" and a metaphor would be lik saying 'he was a cow butt tonight." For example in my head I think that I am correct on all the things I have writen down on this paper today." -- 6th grade girl
"I don't know about you, but similes and metaphors are very fun to use for me. We need to learn more about them, if possible. Please at least take it into consideration." -- 6th grade girl
"A Example of a similes 'He smell like pizza." Another Example of a metaphor 'he a pizza.'" -- 6th grade boy
Q: Compare and contrast similes and metaphors.
A: "Somebody stelles her bike and she is sad sitting on the porch and the police calles and says they find her bike." -- 6th grade girl
"an example of a metiphor is she is smalt as a bus full of nerds." --6th grade girl
"Metaphor has Figurtive language or simile but I am saying that they are the same and some are diffrent and the same way. I don't know simile becuse Everybody is talking when I didn't here the teacher is saying." --6th grade girl
"I found my anwser by seing what are the sames and differents, for exsample there like both different from each other in different ways." --6th grade boy
"for a simile your dume as a donkey." --6th grade boy
"The first one is going to be the metaphor because it is hard. 'I feel a fish on me.' Next is the simile. I'm in a pickle." --6th grade boy
Next, their thoughts on the near extinction of the bald eagle:
"This would be important because you need to find the key to your heart and stop hunting the bald eagles cause it will get you drunk then you will get crazy then you will shoot a bald eagle cause it will hurt and the eagles might be eggstink then the envirment will have nomore eagles to look up to...I think they should put the pople that shoot a eagle and put them in electric chair to get their punishment." --6th grade boy
"Without the bald eagles, we'd have an extinct bird as a national symbol, and we'd lose the beauty of the famous bird in our memory over time. We'd never ooh and ahh at the sight of an eagle nest on a cliff ever again. We wouldn't have that one extra animal to get rid of extra fish. We'd fall apart. They're beautiful and what keeps this country alive. We don't appreciate the eagles long enough. We think about killing them, putting them on a string, hanging them from the ceiling and showing them off. STOP NOW!!!! please help." -6th grade girl
"Normally I disagree with America but right now I don't I want bald eagles to live." -- 6th grade girl
"They ain't doing anything to disturb us so I think the people should leave them alone. Because birds like the eagles don't bother us because they eat different animals not us, uless their hungry." -- 6th grade boy
And my favorite of them all...
Q: How would you change the story if you were the writer?
A: "If I was the writer I would write about things you can't even imaginary." -- 6th grade girl
Friday, August 21, 2009
Teacher Face
"Okay I still see people talking. Everyone up and back into the hallway. We can do this all day if we have to, people!" I feel like I've said this phrase at least 20 times today alone. First week of teaching down and I am quickly learning that, though much anticipated, Fridays are going to be the death of me.
I never wanted to be the strict teacher, but I am quickly learning that if I want to maintain any semblance of functionality within my classroom, I have little choice. The first day I tried to show some of my "fun teacher" side, and was that ever a mistake. The kids quickly started to test my boundaries. One kid "forgot" his name and refused to identify himself the first 5 times I asked, before remembering he was called "Billy Bob." Another took the diagnostic reading exam I handed him and proceeded to fill in each bubble without so much as opening the test booklet. He then yelled "Done!" at the top of his lungs 2 minutes into the test (somehow he still managed to test at a near 3rd grade reading level - kind of impressed, I'm not gonna lie). Another kid enjoyed shooting her hand up into the air every time I asked a question until I looked at her, when she would proceed to pull it down quickly and start looking around, whistling. One boy appeared physically incapable of facing forward in his seat, and one of my girls yelled "Get away from me!" when I leaned down and touched her arm to get her attention.
Day 2 was different. I had my bearings now and wasn't putting up with their games anymore. I lined my kids up in the hallway and gave them a stern talking to before they came in. I told them that they showed they obviously couldn't handle a fun teacher yet, so they were going to be stuck with a strict teacher until they could learn to behave. I became drill sargent, making sure they entered the classroom exactly the way I wanted, and we continued to practice until everyone got it right. We also marched back and forth from the library about 10 times before they figured out what "no talking in the hall" meant. I got a lot of scared looks from my kids, as well as quite a few "great, another teacher I hate" looks which kind of broke my heart, but I didn't know how else to make them behave. At least it seemed to be working to an extent.
However, on top of all their tom foolery, I was dealing with the chaos of being a new, mostly untrained teacher in a building of which I knew very little. I'd come to class the first day prepared with a perfect intro/entering room procedure planned as well as enough activities to cover all 55 minutes. However, the principal held my students hostage in the auditorium for the first 30 minutes of class without my prior knowledge before handing them over. Trying to reorganize my lesson in my head as I carefully lined my students up outside the door, I decided to focus on just the proper entering the room procedure. As I opened my mouth to begin my little speech, the principal came on the intercom to announce that we were to stand for the pledge. I'd completely forgotten schools do that! I quickly shooed my students into the room so they could say the pledge to the flag. It was very chaotic and unprofessional, to say the least.
The next day, half way through the hour, the fire alarm went off. Taking a moment to reflect on the fact that we'd had absolutely no training on this as new teachers, I attempted to simply mimic what I'd always seen my teachers doing in the past. I grabbed an attendance sheet, took a quick head count, lined my kids up, and headed out the door. Classes were moving in every direction and I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I kept walking around in circles with my students following me blindly like imprinted ducklings. I ran into another TFA teacher who looked as confused as me. We finally picked a random door to leave through, and ended up in a weird back area where no other staff or classrooms were. We stood there awkwardly with our students until the alarm stopped and then decided to go back in. I still have no idea where the other classes went...
I ended up being paired with a Gifted and Talented teacher for one of my classes who somewhat scares me to my very core. She walked in the first day and asked if she could quickly introduce herself to my GAT class. She then proceeded to deliver a 15 minute diatribe on how they needed to be able to read cursive before taking out two picture stories to read to them like she was entertaining 6-year-olds. She ended with a lengthy lecture on how she would be raising the bar high for them and they would be expected to reach her high expectations, before rushing out of the classroom. I stared after her, unsure of what had just happened, for a few moments before collecting myself enough to address the class again. Did you know that Gifted & Talented students have IEPs with specific modifications just like the special education kids do, and that the government will periodically check in to make sure you are providing these modifications for each student? I certainly did not.
I gave a diagnostic writing prompt about a life lesson my students learned which lead to some of the more disturbing and depressing essays I've read. One student talked about a parent with a drinking problem. He said of his mom, "I try telling her not to drink. My mom said 'once you drink beer you can't stop.' When my mom was drinking I was scare when my mom was drinking. I really don't like my mom drinking because she got in a fight with my brother. I thought that the way I image us laugh and have fun but, My image was wrong. The thing that I don't like about drunk people they ask you something or they keep you awake all the time." Wow. These kids have problems bigger than things I've dealt with in my own life. I plan to follow up with some students, as well as their guidance counselor.
It's not all bad or chaotic though. I very much love what I am doing. I have one class which is the teacher's dream class - everyone is excited to be there and motivated to learn and participates enthusiastically every lesson. A girl in another class tells me every day how many hours she read the night before. They finally learned how to pronounce my name correctly after 5 days with me. I was able to hold every class rivoted with my narrative about how I melted crayons into a rental car seat once in Florida (my example for a life lesson I learned haha). Kids even have started to come hang out with me during break times (and after school) and run to my classroom early so they can chat before class starts. Sometimes I play music for my kids - I assemble a playlist from random movies and they have to guess what movie each song is from. I use the songs to time my class activities - "you have until 'happy working song' from enchanted is done to finish this problem." I enjoy subjecting my children to broadway and movie soundtracks. I'm glad they put up with me.
So yes, that's pretty much been my week. I miss having a social life outside of my students (a LOT), but I'm finding that I'm busy enough to not have much time to think about it. Today my housemates and I went on a hike up "Pyramid Rock" that was absolutely breathtaking. I really do live in a beautiful place. We almost got attacked by a rattle snake on the way back though. Good day to wear flip-flops :)
Hope you all are well, and thanks for checking in. I miss everyone tons!
I never wanted to be the strict teacher, but I am quickly learning that if I want to maintain any semblance of functionality within my classroom, I have little choice. The first day I tried to show some of my "fun teacher" side, and was that ever a mistake. The kids quickly started to test my boundaries. One kid "forgot" his name and refused to identify himself the first 5 times I asked, before remembering he was called "Billy Bob." Another took the diagnostic reading exam I handed him and proceeded to fill in each bubble without so much as opening the test booklet. He then yelled "Done!" at the top of his lungs 2 minutes into the test (somehow he still managed to test at a near 3rd grade reading level - kind of impressed, I'm not gonna lie). Another kid enjoyed shooting her hand up into the air every time I asked a question until I looked at her, when she would proceed to pull it down quickly and start looking around, whistling. One boy appeared physically incapable of facing forward in his seat, and one of my girls yelled "Get away from me!" when I leaned down and touched her arm to get her attention.
Day 2 was different. I had my bearings now and wasn't putting up with their games anymore. I lined my kids up in the hallway and gave them a stern talking to before they came in. I told them that they showed they obviously couldn't handle a fun teacher yet, so they were going to be stuck with a strict teacher until they could learn to behave. I became drill sargent, making sure they entered the classroom exactly the way I wanted, and we continued to practice until everyone got it right. We also marched back and forth from the library about 10 times before they figured out what "no talking in the hall" meant. I got a lot of scared looks from my kids, as well as quite a few "great, another teacher I hate" looks which kind of broke my heart, but I didn't know how else to make them behave. At least it seemed to be working to an extent.
However, on top of all their tom foolery, I was dealing with the chaos of being a new, mostly untrained teacher in a building of which I knew very little. I'd come to class the first day prepared with a perfect intro/entering room procedure planned as well as enough activities to cover all 55 minutes. However, the principal held my students hostage in the auditorium for the first 30 minutes of class without my prior knowledge before handing them over. Trying to reorganize my lesson in my head as I carefully lined my students up outside the door, I decided to focus on just the proper entering the room procedure. As I opened my mouth to begin my little speech, the principal came on the intercom to announce that we were to stand for the pledge. I'd completely forgotten schools do that! I quickly shooed my students into the room so they could say the pledge to the flag. It was very chaotic and unprofessional, to say the least.
The next day, half way through the hour, the fire alarm went off. Taking a moment to reflect on the fact that we'd had absolutely no training on this as new teachers, I attempted to simply mimic what I'd always seen my teachers doing in the past. I grabbed an attendance sheet, took a quick head count, lined my kids up, and headed out the door. Classes were moving in every direction and I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I kept walking around in circles with my students following me blindly like imprinted ducklings. I ran into another TFA teacher who looked as confused as me. We finally picked a random door to leave through, and ended up in a weird back area where no other staff or classrooms were. We stood there awkwardly with our students until the alarm stopped and then decided to go back in. I still have no idea where the other classes went...
I ended up being paired with a Gifted and Talented teacher for one of my classes who somewhat scares me to my very core. She walked in the first day and asked if she could quickly introduce herself to my GAT class. She then proceeded to deliver a 15 minute diatribe on how they needed to be able to read cursive before taking out two picture stories to read to them like she was entertaining 6-year-olds. She ended with a lengthy lecture on how she would be raising the bar high for them and they would be expected to reach her high expectations, before rushing out of the classroom. I stared after her, unsure of what had just happened, for a few moments before collecting myself enough to address the class again. Did you know that Gifted & Talented students have IEPs with specific modifications just like the special education kids do, and that the government will periodically check in to make sure you are providing these modifications for each student? I certainly did not.
I gave a diagnostic writing prompt about a life lesson my students learned which lead to some of the more disturbing and depressing essays I've read. One student talked about a parent with a drinking problem. He said of his mom, "I try telling her not to drink. My mom said 'once you drink beer you can't stop.' When my mom was drinking I was scare when my mom was drinking. I really don't like my mom drinking because she got in a fight with my brother. I thought that the way I image us laugh and have fun but, My image was wrong. The thing that I don't like about drunk people they ask you something or they keep you awake all the time." Wow. These kids have problems bigger than things I've dealt with in my own life. I plan to follow up with some students, as well as their guidance counselor.
It's not all bad or chaotic though. I very much love what I am doing. I have one class which is the teacher's dream class - everyone is excited to be there and motivated to learn and participates enthusiastically every lesson. A girl in another class tells me every day how many hours she read the night before. They finally learned how to pronounce my name correctly after 5 days with me. I was able to hold every class rivoted with my narrative about how I melted crayons into a rental car seat once in Florida (my example for a life lesson I learned haha). Kids even have started to come hang out with me during break times (and after school) and run to my classroom early so they can chat before class starts. Sometimes I play music for my kids - I assemble a playlist from random movies and they have to guess what movie each song is from. I use the songs to time my class activities - "you have until 'happy working song' from enchanted is done to finish this problem." I enjoy subjecting my children to broadway and movie soundtracks. I'm glad they put up with me.
So yes, that's pretty much been my week. I miss having a social life outside of my students (a LOT), but I'm finding that I'm busy enough to not have much time to think about it. Today my housemates and I went on a hike up "Pyramid Rock" that was absolutely breathtaking. I really do live in a beautiful place. We almost got attacked by a rattle snake on the way back though. Good day to wear flip-flops :)
Hope you all are well, and thanks for checking in. I miss everyone tons!
Friday, August 7, 2009
A week before school
I've managed to find this page again finally so rather than to use my precious few remaining days until the first day of school to prepare the myriads of things I need to have ready, I'm going to choose to procrastinate and do this instead. (Maybe it was better when every minute of my day was accounted for by TFA...)
So after struggling to put together my $30 Walmart desk and stocking my fridge with my own groceries for the first time, I'm officially moved in to my new house in Gallup, NM. I have to type while kneeling on the floor and my bed constantly needs re-inflating, but it's home. Our house even has a name: the "astrobode" - thanks to our astro-turf "lawn" that makes our place famous in the TFA circle. We've become a home for the corps member vagrants who are still looking for places to live, so every time I walk in there are new people setting up camp in our front living room. Makes for an interesting time.
My friend and I were joking about "adult points" earlier today, and I realized that I've been gaining quite a few this last week: opening up a bank account in town, grocery shopping for myself, starting a new career, getting insurance, paying bills/rent, etc. That probably doesn't seem like much to people who've been living in an apartment since their sophomore year of college, but this is all new to me. One of the downfalls of being an RA - falling behind on "real world" experiences. I bought chicken breasts and a sack of potatoes at the store before returning home and realizing I had no idea what to do with them. I moved the chicken from the fridge to the freezer and back at least 3 times before I finally consulted more veteran cooks for advice. I decided I'd make something potato-y the other night until I remembered I didn't have a peeler. There are a lot of basic household items like this that are easy to forget about until you need them.
In terms of the teaching aspect of things, I now have a classroom and was finally able to track down my principal - I'm pretty sure he's been avoiding me for the past few weeks. But I now know that I will be teaching 6th and 8th grade Social Studies (inclusion), 6th grade Math (inclusion), and 6th grade Language Arts (resource room). It was really strange today, meeting a few of my fellow faculty members who look old enough to be my parents and running into students who barely look younger than me. A few stopped into my room when I was setting up and asked if I was the new teacher. They looked maybe 2 years younger than me, even though they were 7th graders. They asked my name, and I was momentarily stumped. I knew I should say "Miss Handtke," but that sounded like such a joke to me while facing people who looked like my peers. I wanted to respond with my first name, but I figured that would break protocol. After awkwardly hesitating for a few seconds, I decided to compromise with an awkward response of my full name. Haha, I need to get better at this "authority figure" thing. I'm sure it will come more naturally when I have kids in my desks and I'm standing at the front of the classroom...I hope. I got a haircut today, so hopefully now I can pass for 18 or 19 years old...that will put at least a few more years difference between my students and me. :)
And that's been my life lately. Training starts this Monday and my first day of school is the 17th. I feel completely unprepared and in over my head, but I also felt a huge tingle of excitement today when seeing my classroom for the first time. I've been waiting for this for a while.
Hope you all are doing well and thanks for checking up on me. Let the teaching begin...
So after struggling to put together my $30 Walmart desk and stocking my fridge with my own groceries for the first time, I'm officially moved in to my new house in Gallup, NM. I have to type while kneeling on the floor and my bed constantly needs re-inflating, but it's home. Our house even has a name: the "astrobode" - thanks to our astro-turf "lawn" that makes our place famous in the TFA circle. We've become a home for the corps member vagrants who are still looking for places to live, so every time I walk in there are new people setting up camp in our front living room. Makes for an interesting time.
My friend and I were joking about "adult points" earlier today, and I realized that I've been gaining quite a few this last week: opening up a bank account in town, grocery shopping for myself, starting a new career, getting insurance, paying bills/rent, etc. That probably doesn't seem like much to people who've been living in an apartment since their sophomore year of college, but this is all new to me. One of the downfalls of being an RA - falling behind on "real world" experiences. I bought chicken breasts and a sack of potatoes at the store before returning home and realizing I had no idea what to do with them. I moved the chicken from the fridge to the freezer and back at least 3 times before I finally consulted more veteran cooks for advice. I decided I'd make something potato-y the other night until I remembered I didn't have a peeler. There are a lot of basic household items like this that are easy to forget about until you need them.
In terms of the teaching aspect of things, I now have a classroom and was finally able to track down my principal - I'm pretty sure he's been avoiding me for the past few weeks. But I now know that I will be teaching 6th and 8th grade Social Studies (inclusion), 6th grade Math (inclusion), and 6th grade Language Arts (resource room). It was really strange today, meeting a few of my fellow faculty members who look old enough to be my parents and running into students who barely look younger than me. A few stopped into my room when I was setting up and asked if I was the new teacher. They looked maybe 2 years younger than me, even though they were 7th graders. They asked my name, and I was momentarily stumped. I knew I should say "Miss Handtke," but that sounded like such a joke to me while facing people who looked like my peers. I wanted to respond with my first name, but I figured that would break protocol. After awkwardly hesitating for a few seconds, I decided to compromise with an awkward response of my full name. Haha, I need to get better at this "authority figure" thing. I'm sure it will come more naturally when I have kids in my desks and I'm standing at the front of the classroom...I hope. I got a haircut today, so hopefully now I can pass for 18 or 19 years old...that will put at least a few more years difference between my students and me. :)
And that's been my life lately. Training starts this Monday and my first day of school is the 17th. I feel completely unprepared and in over my head, but I also felt a huge tingle of excitement today when seeing my classroom for the first time. I've been waiting for this for a while.
Hope you all are doing well and thanks for checking up on me. Let the teaching begin...
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Training in Phoenix Institute
Okay so it took me a ridiculous amount of time to figure out how to get back to this page and add a post, so I am officially technologically challenged (though that may have been official for a while).
I have now been in Phoenix for about two weeks training here at the Teach for America Institute. It's been one of the most intense experiences in my life, in terms of workload. Mentally and emotionally I haven't found it as challenging as it was supposed to be, but it is entirely draining physically. The corps has no qualms with demanding every waking moment of each teacher-to-be. We've all joked that we are at teacher "boot camp," but to be honest I'm not sure that's too far off base.
We all groggily responded to our 5:20am alarms on the first Monday morning, only to be rushed through a sack lunch assembly line with our "drill sargents" yelling at us through megaphones: "6:15 bus will be leaving in two minutes. You should be sprinting right now. Go! Go! Go!" I remember attempting to balance a loaded backpack, an overflowing purse, and a sweater to combat the ridiculous amount of air conditioning that people use here, all while struggling not to break an ankle in my new high heeled "professional" shoes. I had the brown paperbag lunch sack hanging from my teeth as I reached for my ice pack and grabbed the food items available for the day, hastily shoving them into my little blue lunch bag before running for the bus that had warned us it would "wait for no one."
I never before had an idea what it means to put in a "full day" of work, either. I now get an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a night, staying up til the wee hours of the morning working on perfecting the next day's lesson plan, and getting up at the crack of dawn to present it. Our staff often scolds us for looking too tired during the day's sessions, but we are given no time to get things done. We are in school (either giving or taking classes) from 7:00am until 5:00pm, and then we often have night sessions for an hour or two. With the detail they require of our lesson plans, it often takes up to 6 hours to complete just one, and most nights we have a final lesson plan and two rough plans due the following day. I remember one day that I worked straight from 7am until 2am without a single break or moment to myself. At least my late nights aren't due to procrasination or poor time management for once!
Despite the craziness, I am loving every minute of this. For once I understand why people can get so caught up in their careers. I am so passionate about teaching. I am one of four fifth grade summer school teachers and I am so in love with my kids. Jahziel, or "peewee," as he is affectionately called, looks like a second grader with his tiny stature and huge eyes and has no idea what's going on half the time, but he has huge ambitions for his future. Ivanna doesn't talk above a whisper, but she aces everything we throw at her. Marylu is really struggling to pass, but she participates every day more than the others. Jordan went from being at the bottom of the class on her math pre-test to being the only one to ace the midterm exam. We made a class bulletin board the other day called "So that one day I can...". We put our kids' pictures up on it and they finished the sentence with their personal goals (i.e. "...be a teacher", "...be an astronaut", "...go to college") and drew pictures of their "future professional bodies." Jahziel drew a mustache for himself. Looking at that board, even though it's a little cheesy, totally inspires me every day. I'm working so that those goals can become realities, so these kids can have choices in life. I'm busting my butt every day so that in a school that provides little to know resources in a very poor neighborhood, they know that someone believes in them. And I'm surprised at how much I do. I know that I'm starting to gush and make this sound like an inspirational film, but I have grown to care so much about these children's futures. I hold myself responsible for this part of their education, this checkpoint along their way. When I grade their assessments, I never think "wow, this kid tanked it. they should have studied more." It's always "Shoot, I failed them here. What should I have done differently." I never realized that teachers, when they grade papers, are grading themselves, rather than their students. It's strange all the different perspective I'm getting here. I definitely appreciate my former teachers on a whole new level now.
Other than teaching, I don't have much of a life right now. haha. I have one day a week that I get to myself, and the majority of that day is often spent catching up on sleep. Today I was able to go out in the 110 degree Phoenix sun and tube down a mountain river, which was pretty great. We were floating past towering seguaro (or however you pronounce it) cacti and wild horses. I also get Wendy's once a week to treat myself. It's a pretty big thing in my life. Haha.
Thanks for everyone who calls to check up on me and who keeps me in their prayers. It means a lot. I miss you all. And now it's time for the joy that is sleep.
I have now been in Phoenix for about two weeks training here at the Teach for America Institute. It's been one of the most intense experiences in my life, in terms of workload. Mentally and emotionally I haven't found it as challenging as it was supposed to be, but it is entirely draining physically. The corps has no qualms with demanding every waking moment of each teacher-to-be. We've all joked that we are at teacher "boot camp," but to be honest I'm not sure that's too far off base.
We all groggily responded to our 5:20am alarms on the first Monday morning, only to be rushed through a sack lunch assembly line with our "drill sargents" yelling at us through megaphones: "6:15 bus will be leaving in two minutes. You should be sprinting right now. Go! Go! Go!" I remember attempting to balance a loaded backpack, an overflowing purse, and a sweater to combat the ridiculous amount of air conditioning that people use here, all while struggling not to break an ankle in my new high heeled "professional" shoes. I had the brown paperbag lunch sack hanging from my teeth as I reached for my ice pack and grabbed the food items available for the day, hastily shoving them into my little blue lunch bag before running for the bus that had warned us it would "wait for no one."
I never before had an idea what it means to put in a "full day" of work, either. I now get an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a night, staying up til the wee hours of the morning working on perfecting the next day's lesson plan, and getting up at the crack of dawn to present it. Our staff often scolds us for looking too tired during the day's sessions, but we are given no time to get things done. We are in school (either giving or taking classes) from 7:00am until 5:00pm, and then we often have night sessions for an hour or two. With the detail they require of our lesson plans, it often takes up to 6 hours to complete just one, and most nights we have a final lesson plan and two rough plans due the following day. I remember one day that I worked straight from 7am until 2am without a single break or moment to myself. At least my late nights aren't due to procrasination or poor time management for once!
Despite the craziness, I am loving every minute of this. For once I understand why people can get so caught up in their careers. I am so passionate about teaching. I am one of four fifth grade summer school teachers and I am so in love with my kids. Jahziel, or "peewee," as he is affectionately called, looks like a second grader with his tiny stature and huge eyes and has no idea what's going on half the time, but he has huge ambitions for his future. Ivanna doesn't talk above a whisper, but she aces everything we throw at her. Marylu is really struggling to pass, but she participates every day more than the others. Jordan went from being at the bottom of the class on her math pre-test to being the only one to ace the midterm exam. We made a class bulletin board the other day called "So that one day I can...". We put our kids' pictures up on it and they finished the sentence with their personal goals (i.e. "...be a teacher", "...be an astronaut", "...go to college") and drew pictures of their "future professional bodies." Jahziel drew a mustache for himself. Looking at that board, even though it's a little cheesy, totally inspires me every day. I'm working so that those goals can become realities, so these kids can have choices in life. I'm busting my butt every day so that in a school that provides little to know resources in a very poor neighborhood, they know that someone believes in them. And I'm surprised at how much I do. I know that I'm starting to gush and make this sound like an inspirational film, but I have grown to care so much about these children's futures. I hold myself responsible for this part of their education, this checkpoint along their way. When I grade their assessments, I never think "wow, this kid tanked it. they should have studied more." It's always "Shoot, I failed them here. What should I have done differently." I never realized that teachers, when they grade papers, are grading themselves, rather than their students. It's strange all the different perspective I'm getting here. I definitely appreciate my former teachers on a whole new level now.
Other than teaching, I don't have much of a life right now. haha. I have one day a week that I get to myself, and the majority of that day is often spent catching up on sleep. Today I was able to go out in the 110 degree Phoenix sun and tube down a mountain river, which was pretty great. We were floating past towering seguaro (or however you pronounce it) cacti and wild horses. I also get Wendy's once a week to treat myself. It's a pretty big thing in my life. Haha.
Thanks for everyone who calls to check up on me and who keeps me in their prayers. It means a lot. I miss you all. And now it's time for the joy that is sleep.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Pre-TFA adventure
So, I have been asked by a lot of people if I plan to blog while I work with Teach for America in New Mexico for the next two years. I've never blogged before so this is all new to me, and it's entirely possible that after this post I will completely forget I even have a blog to update. But I'll do my best. As of right now, it's a week before I leave for the intensive two month training session in Phoenix, AZ, so basically I'm just attempting to sort everything out before I leave. It's already feeling very overwhelming, and I'm realizing that for the first time in my life I will soon realize what it means to be an adult. Should be interesting. For those who are willing, I'd love some prayers for safe travel (what with all the road tripping I'll be doing in the near future), for guidance in my job and appartment searches, and for a support system down in New Mexico. That's probably the thing that is worrying me the most - the lack of family and friends I will have around me to lean on when it gets challenging (as the corps has assured me it will).
Anyways, nothing very interesting to add as of yet. Hopefully I remember to post again later.
~Lindsay
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